Sloppy Love Jingle

From the second she shimmied in
I was intrigued by her essence
And my first instincts to make sure that my presence was felt
Simple and plain
I'm probably jumping the train
But all I could see was my name engraved on her belt
Hit the pause button
Damn!
I don't even know this girl
And I'm already practicing my sweet-nothins
But that's a classic trait of a soft-spoken, heart-broken, fellow like my self best believe (pussy)
I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve
But that night the Jagermeister had my sleeves rolled up
Wait a minute, hold up
I think she caught me grillin' now I'm spillin' my drink (don't look don't look)
I knew our feelings were in sync so now she gave me the wink
The only problem is, I'm not your ordinary, average Romeo
A Cyrano de Bergerac
In fact, I remember back in fifth grade
I tried to read the book of love, but sadly
The introduction didn't grab me
So I left it on the shelf and kept moving
Assuming that this planet rotates
I'll just procrastinate until the day I bump into my soulmate
Who would've thunk I would be pissy ass drunk when time came for collision
So I made the decision to just keep my composure (cool cool)
Until she started getting closer
And then I felt this weird feeling underneath my left shoulder, and then I
Slipped, tripped, busted my lip and fell in love
The minute that she stepped in the door
The type of girl I'd have to make a couple mix tapes for
To me she equaled MC squared and everything else was mathematics
I never took the time to practice